Chattanooga - a few days in...

     Greetings and salutations friends, loved ones and all you other folks! Without covering a few states in a day there has not been as much to write about. Nonetheless we have been plenty busy being bored. At this point I could care less if I never ever never ever ever ever stayed in a hotel again. This past couple weeks has certainly made me even more thankful for my job that allows me to stay home. I would not want to be one of those that lived out of hotels and suitcases for most of the year. No thank you! That's almost as bad as base hopping across Iraq living out of a back pack. Yeah, OK! Not even close. At least here there has been no 16 hour days sleeping on a concrete slab at the flight line.

     First things first, we have a new home. Well kinda. We will have a new apartment tomorrow. Yahoo for check out in the morning! Friday morning we slept in a little after driving 7 days. For me that meant I made it til almost 0800. Once up I made contact with Steve and we set off to drop my date for last week off at the VW plant. They were nice enough to allow me to park Ol' Penske in a staging lot behind the EOC. That way our entire life's worth of stuff would be a little more secure than at the hotel.

     From there we linked up with my boss, checked bunker gear sizes, received a crap ton of uniforms, got badged, and receive a meal card. As it just so happened my future shift was working so I got to meet most of them. Thank goodness they all wear their names on their shirts, because I will not remember them for at least 3 months. The ones I remember prior to that probably wont be good. Which, yes for those of you thinking it, they may be like I use to be...or worse. But hey I turned out pretty good. Okay, well at least pretty! ;-)

     Seriously they all seemed pretty nice and eager to help. I know I am excited to get up to speed and start having fun. Hopefully after I left they all weren't wondering who the tattooed skint head was? It would not be the first time I was confused and mistaken for a skint head communist by a new employee! But then again I am working for German engineering now. Just sayin. Maybe it's a new leadership model to shoot for. Pardon the pun.

     Once the meet and greet was all done Bobbi and I headed out apartment hunting. She had her list ready to go, and I was driving. I most certainly did not have a list and don't even ask about that. Moving on. Fortunately thanks to some pre-planning and screening on our part we had a good idea where to go and in less than a few stops had found our new temporary home. We are getting a 2 bedroom apt. about 1350 sq. feet. Granted it will take some getting use to after leaving our 2000+ sq. feet home, but it is a lot better than these hotels! Actually it is a little bigger that the first house we rented in Mose Lake.

     Since then it's been taking care of electricity, insurance and the 42 hundred other details of moving to another state. Oh and by the way, Tennessee is one of the highest states to get auto insurance in. Apparently no damn body around here can drive. And I thought Pitt county was bad. Now that I've been here a couple days, I see why insurance is higher. My blood pressure will be too.

     Traffic, Om my goodness golly gracious holy hell, the traffic. Now you would think with living in Greenville most of my life, this population wouldn't be that big of an adjustment. But for the last 5 years we have been living in a population of 20k people. The 5 years before that it was small military bases. So it has been and will be for some time, one hell of an adjustment!

     Since we found an apartment early, I headed off to the Gold's gym 2 minutes down the road. I swear when I walked in the door I heard angels singing. It was so nice not to be in one of these hotel fitness closets.  This place was so massive and had so much equipment I didn't know where to start. I was like an over-sized kid in a candy store. There are a few more gyms around and I will check them out before joining. But Gold's is looking pretty high on the list. There is a Planet Fatness and I will have to go there. My goal is to get thrown our before I get started. I am sure it won't take long to set off the lunk alarm. And yes they have those.

     Other than all that it has been a lot of hanging out in the hotel room and Hailey's daily trip to the indoor pool, not to mention a lot of eating take out. Oh my craptastic take out. I have tried to do subway as much as possible, but the other 2 chics aren't down for that. At this point we have been living on takeout for about 2 weeks and we now just argue over where we don't want to eat.  Even here with all these new options it all starts to taste like morbid piles of fatness. Oh wait, that's how I feel after eating it all.

     There has also been a whole lot of getting on each others nerves. Yes even the sweet Ormond family. You try living with your family in one room for evvvvvvvvvvver. Actually we haven't been that bad. Well except for one. I wont name names, but her initials are Hailey Scott. Let's just say my wife had a daughter JUST like her, and no I don't mean loveable and sweet. I think Little Miss Attitudy or LB (Little Bobbi) as I call her, is over this hotel thing.  But so far no one has killed anyone, YET. I have threatened to slap her head back to Missouri though.

     All in all things are going well. Once we get unloaded tomorrow the fun begins and there will be no time for boredom. I start with some job shadowing/training shifts on Wed and then its on shift for me starting next Monday. Bobbi will be handling the unpacking and settling in along with getting Hailey registered for school and keeping a check on her dad's status. He starts his chemo next week so please keep him in your prayers. The best news is on the 29th we are heading home for a week. The first time we have spent the holidays at home in 5 years. For me it will only be the second holiday home in 10 years! Yes we are excited.

The Ormond's are signing off so we can rest up for our busy day of moving!

Travel Day 6 - No sunglasses required!

    Good morning, evening, or night! Whatever it is wherever you are right now. Hell, I don't even know what time zone I'm in. After 6 days of driving the only thing I am certain of is that I am still in the continental United States. That's only because I have not been on any extremely long bridges. Or maybe I was and I slept through it...

     So far so good and the best news is...only one more day to go! We should hit Chattanooga tomorrow early afternoon! We had a light day today with only 4.5 hrs of drive time. So I let the girls sleep in a little this morning and we took our time getting on the road. Part of that was also strategic so we wouldn't hit St. Louis lunchtime traffic. Plus the late start let the temps get up above freezing and the freezing rain warning end.

     We did start out with ugly gray skies and rain. Lots and Lots of rain. At times it was a pure toad strangler, but the roads weren't bad. It was just before having bad visibility. Fortunately after about 30 minutes the rain slowly dissipated away. I was briefly concerned when I started seeing a few snow flurries, but that never materialized into anything more. PHEEEWWWWWW! The rest of the drive was just over cast skies and pretty uneventful. Guess the day full of cloudy dark skies was to remind us of that state we left. Good bye Washington! Most importantly though, there was indeed a Starbucks within a mile of the hotel. So Bobbi got cafe-latte-frapu-wachamacallit-machino on board. No pouting required. As Uncle Si would say, she was Happy Happy Happy!

     We finished rolling through Missouri today and the beauty continued. More rolling hills, meadows, pristine farmland and just pure beauty! When I say rolling, I mean rollllllllllllllllllllling. The highways are one continuous up and down on long, slow, long, gradual, long hills. Did I mention they were long hills? Not good on a big truck. Felt like I was on a kid roller coaster. I also noticed several very old barns, typically sitting isolated off by them self. They sat half dilapidated, looking like something out of a painting, or where they hold the hostages in a movie. I couldn't help but wonder what intriguing stories those old relics could tell.  Hopefully none involving a chainsaw...

     Then we hit St. Louis. OH My Golly Goodness Gracious Holy Hell St. Louis. One word TRAFFIC! Now keep in mind I am a Pitt County boy and do NOT like traffic. However in my defense I have driven in some of the busiest cities in the world. I just don't like to. But diving that big ass box on wheels, pulling her car on a trailer behind it through St. Louis. Never again! I almost got taken out by another box truck, but thankfully God was watching over me. Now I just have to repair the seat from the hole I pinched in it.

     Next we rolled into Illinois which has more rollllllllling beauty, but not as much.  Honestly when we hit Illinois, all I could think about was Obama was from here and I threw up in my mouth a little bit. We are currently snuggled in at Mount Vernon IL. I have yet to see the Mount, just more rolling hills.

     On our drive today I did see several billboards advertising some interesting stores. I believe we were between Kansas City and St. Louis. One was for an Adult Super Store. I guess you can buy a super Adult there? I am not really sure. Apparently Super Adults are in high demand in that area because the next one was a couples Adult Super Store. I guess you can buy a matching pair there. Maybe a complete matching him and her set, or a him and him set or even a her and her set. Damn if I know. Guess whatever floats your boat, or whatever you can afford.

     One thing I have learned on this week of driving, there are two constants that will always happen. First, on the rare chance that I actually come up on a slower vehicle that I need to pass, there will absolutely be some peckerwood coming up on my six, passing me on my left so I have to break my cruise control and wait for them to pass me first. Second, every so often due to traffic, hills or differences in cruise control I will catch my wife. As I creep up on her tail, pushing closer and closer, trying my best not to break my cruise control, she absolutely will not notice me and speed up until AFTER I break my cruise control. Nothing against her, or her driving, that's just my luck. Or maybe she just likes me riding her ass....By the way, can you tell nothing irritates me more than breaking my cruise control.

     With all this driving and filling hours of boredom I had some serious things to ponder. For instance Spaz-O-matic Grizz. I call him that because he gets very excited. I mean very excited, like bouncing off the walls, like did you ever see the movie Flubber? Think bouncing rubber super ball in the form of a dog. He also has a very nervous bladder. Being a rescue dog we don't know his back story, but it doesn't take much excitement or fear and oh Spaz-O is pissing a trail of retreat. This got me to thinking....If Grizz was a rapper, what would his rapper name be? Grizz da Wizz, Master Pee, Sir Piss A Lot, Lil Dribble, Lil Wizz? Any of those would be fitting. Glad I could decipher that important issue in between my karaoke dance parties.

      I do want to share with you a game we played today. On occasion, rare occasion, I actually pass Bobbi on the highway. I don't know if it is the cruise not syncing, her not paying attention, or her feeling sorry for me. Anyway, today as I passed her I leaned forward, dropped my head down and stuck my right arm straight out, doing my best Super Man impersonation as I flew by her (It's an inside joke).  She then speeds up and as she passes by she is moving one arm over the other as if doing a free-style swim past me. Then as I pass her again I am pulling hand over hand like I am pulling myself up a rope. All the while we are both laughing hysterically.

     I Love that woman! I also love that we laugh so much together, and often times AT each other. My point being our house is always filled with laughter. Many kids across the world go to bed cowering under their covers, hiding from mommy and daddies yelling, screaming, and fighting. At our house, Hailey has to yell at us because our laughing is keeping her up. That's a good problem to have.

     Ok folks, the Ormond's are signing out. Tomorrow we will be HOME! Tennessee prepare yourself!!!

Stardate 1411.18 Introductory Procedures

I would say I apologize for the blog's pun title, but I don't! This is MY blog and if you don't like it please press the little black arrow at the top left of your screen or the even littler "x" on the right corner of this tab.

If you don't even begin to get what I am talking about with the title, then you either didn't grow up with my generation and/or never watched an episode of Start Trek.  With my new job change and accepting a Captain's position with the Fire Department at the Volkswagen plant in Chattanooga I could not resist the name for the blog.

Due to the tremendous support and many fans I gained writing "Fit Facts" for the Venue Magazine, I decided to find another avenue to express myself through writing.  This blog will more than likely not be a fitness column, but more along the lines of the rantings and ravings of a bald lunatic! However, if along the way you do have questions or issues you want addressed,  leave a comment and I will do my best.

Initially it is my intentions to document the next few weeks as we prepare and head out on our move across country. Before you ask, I have no earthly idea how often this blog will be updated. Probably just a few times up until the move. That is simply because my list of things to do is growing faster than the number of domestic violence cases in the NFL. Once on the road, my intentions are to update nightly. But you know what they say about hell. It is full of people with good intentions!

So now that all that is out of the way, here is where we are today....PACKING! We placed our house on the market last Monday before I got the official offer. It was a step of faith as we were trusting that the Lord was directing us down this path to Tennessee all along. Shortly thereafter I received the offer and began negotiations which lasted a few short days. Prior to this we had begun purging the house and gathering boxes and organizing for the move. Again we were certain God was taking us home.

Since we are finishing out the month at our current jobs, I am at work at the airport today. I have honestly never been happier to be here, just so I could rest! I spent the entire weekend packing the garage and going through crap, and throwing away crap, and organizing crap. I honestly think I could be a professional crap collector. For you guys out there, you know what I mean. All that "stuff" we keep because we may need it one day, forty-two years from now. The one thing I can promise you is that you will never need it until a week after you throw it away. It does not matter if you keep it for a month, a year or a decade. Your need for that very specific and unique piece of crap will  not arise until after you tossed it.

Anyway, back to packing. While I have been working on the garage, the wife has been hard at work inside. Let me just say that we both genuinely hate packing, but are thankful this is the move we have been waiting for. The one that brings us home. Oh yeah, where was I? Packing! See, I even hate writing about it. Hailey's room is proving to be the current biggest challenge. The child has way too many toys, and stuffed animals, and too much crap. Apparently I am not the only crap collector in the house. In an effort to stay married, I will not mention any of my wife's crap. Not that she would even have any.

Hailey however has enough for us all. Not only will you find toys, and other such childlike things in her room, you may also find a variety of other things...many different and odd things. Maybe a rock, or a petrified grasshopper that was starved to death in her homemade shoebox wildlife habitat, or a crumpled note, a drawing of Jesus on the cross at Calvary, or one of many random unidentifiable shiny objects. The problem being that she is not only a crap collector but a hoarder and doesn't wish to get rid of any of it. Thankfully mommy stepped in to make command decisions. I mean really, we could open a dang Toy's B Us that specializes in Crappy Meal Toy's! Right beside that would be our Stuffed animal zoo, with a larger variety of animals than the San Francisco Zoo.

Moving along, the packing & purging continues. I continue to grab boxes (yes sometimes from dumpsters) and we continue to fill them. My to-do list continues to grow exponentially as I mark off one item only to add thirty-three more. As the process continues we are trying only to grow together as a family and not rip anyone's head off in the process. While we are not worried about the move, the stress of the actual move and rapidly approaching "move date" is increasing. Tempers are rising, fuses are shortening, and sleep is diminishing. Mainly we are trying to maintain our sanity while trying to ensure we are thoroughly communicating through the chaos. Ahhh the joys of moving....