Travel day Quatro

First of all before I get into the humor of our trip, I want to give all glory to God for the blessings he has paved before us on trip.  The weather thus far could not have been any better. We have seen snow everywhere from mountain caps, to scattered across the hills, to covering the roadside. Streams, rivers, lakes and ponds have all been frozen but the roads have been clear and the temperatures have been in the upper 40’s.  Thank you Lord!

Nebraska – pronounced Nuh-brass-Kuh – Origin Native American meaning rolling nothingness.

We are currently bedded down in Grand Island, Nebraska. Why in the heck they call it an Island when there’s NO water here is beyond me. Not to mention the extreme lack of anything “grand”.  For those of you who have never been to Nebraska, don’t! There truly is nothing here; and when I say nothing that is an extreme understatement. Unfortunately there is no other word that means more nothingness than nothing. I mean even the exits have nothing. No truck stops, no rest areas, just exits to nothing.

I have witnessed brief patches of evidence that would suggest there were some wheat and cornfields here at one time. But this time of year the fields are all plowed and disked and there is nothing. Nothing but dirt. I couldn't even find a cornfield to "lose" Grizz in. There are no steak farms, or wool farms, just what could be described as America’s largest dirt farm. Yep they raise dirt here and lots of it!

There has barely been any road kill since we hit Nebraska either. Even the wild animals are smart enough not to come here; at least most of them anyway. I did discover a new type of deer though, a spread deer. It’s amazing how far a tractor-trailer can spread a deer down the roadway. In fact it’s almost as far as a C-17 can spread a coyote down a runway.  Speaking of road kill, I have learned something else too!  Males are much, much smarter than females.  Before you ladies get your panties in a bunch I have hard-core data to prove that statement. Out of all the deer, and parts of deer I have seen scattered down the highways, and I have seen a LOT, not a single one of them were male.  Just saying….

 Even though Nebraska has been an abyss of nothing, nada, zilch, prior to that our day was still interesting.  It started when we checked out of our hotel in Laramie. The hotel manager’s last name was Disney. Now I am assuming no relation, or else she probably would not be working at a hotel in Wyoming. Who knows though, maybe her uncle was Walt and maybe, just maybe, she was just excommunicated from the family for having no imagination???? Or maybe she had a horrific fear of mice???? Or maybe she was just plain goofy??? Oh I am having too much fun with this. Moving on…

The roadways in Wyoming leave a lot to be desired. Starting near Cheyenne and sporadically carrying on to the state of nothing, I mean Nebraska. The roads were BUMPY! They were the cement kind and they were covered in the tar seams, lots and lots of seams that were very very very bumpy. In fact I am quite certain that my rectum has been compacted into my cerebellum and now I will have even more shitty ideas!

I also made another discovery in Wyoming. It was a Wal-Mart distribution center.  Now we all know that everything Wal-Mart sells is made in China. So apparently this is a distribution center for the “People of Wal-Mart”.  I knew there was no way that all those people just randomly showed up at Wal-Mart. They have a gigantic facility with hundreds of tractor-trailers lined up to sort and deliver the “people of Wal-Mart” to a location near you. A 400 pounder in a thong to Chicago, an anorexic 60 year old man with fake boobs to Albuquerque, you get the drift.  Once again my friends we have been had by a brilliant marketing scheme!

I am thrilled to say that we are over half way done with our journey. About 1500 miles down, and a thousand more to go. With the time I have spent in that Penske truck we have become intimately close. As any good driver operator knows, you learn to listen to the truck, you memorize her sounds. For instance I know when Ol’ Penske starts to moan that low sultry groan, that she is putting out a little more than she wants to and it also means she just hit 2100 RPMS. That means we are going all out, balls to the wall up hill. She is giving everything she’s got.  It also means I start praying a little bit harder. I think I can, I think I can….

I am also challenged to find ways to entertain myself in the cab all alone. I try not to eat of boredom now that I am tobacco free, so I chew on coffee stirrers. They are calorie free. I also make funny faces and snarl at passing vehicles, especially the kids. But mostly I have one helluva 6 hour karaoke dance party all by myself! So far no complaints.

Everyone is doing pretty well. We are taking it slow and easy, no rush, no hurry. Typically we get on the road by 0930. If you ask me that’s pretty good considering I have 2 females and 2 dogs traveling with me. Then we knock out about 5-6 hrs of driving and thus far the stops have been minimal. Bobbi is doing a great job navigating. The jeep has the GPS so she leads the way. She has learned my limitations in the big truck and plans accordingly, at least for the most part. And when she doesn’t, I am all alone in the truck and no one knows if I say anything ugly J  Not that I would ever…..

Tomorrow we are heading to Kansas City Missouri. There I will reunite with my old friend Ben from Iraq. Do you know what happens when TWO Bens get together? Nothing but pure awesomeness! It will be great to see him again after 5 years and I am super excited!

Since I started this off with a serious note, I want to end that way as well. Each day of driving I have found a great sermon on the radio to listen to.  Todays really gave me something to think about and I wanted to share it with you. Give you a little something to chew on.

In the Bible, Jesus teaches us to pray “Give us this day, our daily bread” But now days our cupboards, and pantries, and refrigerators are full of “daily bread”. It is abundance that ciphers our dependence. If you are blessed with a roof over your head, a house full of food, or healthy family, don’t let that abundance take away your dependence on the Lord.   

Travel Day 3 Amigos

     Deer. Oh Deer. Oh my Deer! No that is not a typo, and I don't mean my wife. I mean the 4 legged kind. Well most of them had 4 legs, or at least I am certain they started out with 4 legs. I had no iDeer there were so many different kinds of deer. Today we saw short deer, tall deer, round deer, flat deer, half deer, whole deer, splat deer, swole deer, rotten deer, bloated deer, eaten deer, exploded deer, disintegrated deer, and parts of deer. BUT no where along the way did we see a live deer. My point being, if YOU are a deer, do not live in or around the Utah/Wyoming region. It could be hazardous to your health.

     I will say this though, apparently those little prong horns are much smarter and/or faster than deer. We saw hundreds of those little miniature gazelle wannabe's and not no where did we ever see even part of one splattered down the high way. They also seem to be very sociable creatures. We often saw them hanging out with herds of horses and cows. Or maybe they are confused and having an identity crisis. Either way, much smarter than deer! and Grizz!...Spaz-O-matic!

     Today was a great and beautiful day for traveling. As we pulled out of Ogden Utah the sun had broken over the mountains and the sun was shining. I don't think I have ever seen bluer skies. Those deep blue skies stayed with us throughout the day, with the exception of a few stray cotton balls that floated by.

     After driving through Utah, I can certainly understand why people live there. Absolutely gorgeous!!! The entire trip we were enveloped in rolling hills, snow capped mountains, and jagged canyons.  All along the way the landscape was decorated with impressive and often massive rock formations. We saw ledges jutting out of canyon walls, boulders stacked in ways that only God could explain, and what I can only describe as stone statues that looked like they were extracted from straight down deep within the earth's core. It felt like I was driving straight through from one jig saw puzzle to the next. However WE could not live there because I never saw a Target or anything that even resembled a mall.

     Next up we crossed over into Wyoming. I think the Wy comes from Why in the hell would anybody live here. Miles and miles filled with acres and acres of pure vast nothingness. I promise you i am not exaggerating!  Definitely cowboy country. I think that's all that lives here 1 cow and a boy.

     Throughout the day along with the nothingness, God's canvas, and the road kill we did see numerous farms. Of course we saw many many more steak farms, as well as a few wool farms. I always wondered how they grew those socks. We also saw a few farms that raised cowboy transportation. Then in Wyoming there were plenty of tumbleweed farms. Felt like I was back in Moses Lake, only slightly more elevated. I also saw a horse that was lost. Or at least I am pretty sure he was lost. Miles and miles of nothing and 1 lone horse standing all alone. Or maybe he was just socially awkward. I have worked with a few people like that.

     I also learned that in Wyoming the fence builders don't know how to build corners. Miles and miles or straight fences lined up, one behind the other, and none of them connected. No wonder so many deer get hit. The fences don't connect to keep them in. Duhhhhhhh!

     As for the dogs... Well they are actually getting better. Are they annoying? Yes! But then again they are breathing. I do think they are getting the hang of this traveling. Or maybe we humans are just getting the hang of traveling with dogs. Ol' Spaz-O-matic Griz has not peed the floor today, but the night is young. I do think he is getting a little more nervous than normal because he knows we hit Nebraska tomorrow. Just saying...I am sure there are some wide open corn fields he would love to explore.  Hailey said I couldn't leave him. My response was between Grizz, Shelby and her, one of them wasn't making it out of Nebraska.

     At the end of the day I have learned you just have to prepare properly for a road trip with  my family. The first thing you must pack is your sense of humor and leave your sense of urgency behind. I mean only while traveling with my wife and daughter do you stop for a potty break 15 minutes before you reach the hotel. Really?!?!? Final destination in sight, but wait let's first stop and explore another grimy, grungy public potty and buy one more souvenir.

     Seriously though, we are all doing well and making great time. No rush, no stress (well not much) and cooperative weather. Tomorrow we head out rolling towards Grand Island Nebraska. Watch out Grizz...

Farewell Moses Lake - Day Two of Travel

     Yep! You can guess why there was no Day One of travel on the blog. We barely survived it. Ha! No actually it wasn't that bad, just a long, long day! Before we could hit the road yesterday morning we had to go back to the house and do a final cleaning, wipe down, vacuum, spot scrub, throw out the trash and every damn thing else we didn't have time to do on Thursday. I tried to "forget" the dogs, but that didn't work...

     First of all I want to start with my farewell. In the last 5 years we have been blessed to meet some truly amazing people. God has put some wonderful people in our lives and they ALL helped us grow in their own way. Some from their pure heart and overwhelming desire to serve God, and, well, let's just say others helped us by showing us what not to do! But such is life...

     It has been a very emotionally draining past couple of weeks. The reality of the move crept in, actually it jumped Slam, Damn, in. I swear it seemed like we were 2 weeks out from the move for a month, and then BAMMM! All of a sudden we were at T-minus 2 days and counting. So along with making the mad dash of  final packing/loading we shared many tear filled good byes. Again we were so blessed to share so many farewell meals with our friends. We have cried more in the last 2 weeks than we did when we first rolled into town and saw Moses Lake for the first time. Sorry to those of you we missed.There just simply was not enough time.

     As many bad jokes as there are about Moses "Hole" and how there's no reason to go there, I can say this. My family and I are better people for having lived there. The relationships we built and friendships we made will last us a life time. We got to meet and work with some amazing folks. SO MANY people showed us, NOT told us how to live a Godly life, and for that we will be forever grateful. In our time here both my daughters and I were baptized, and my wife dedicated her life to the Lord. The spiritual growth I have witnessed in my house makes me a very happy man.

     Moving all the way out here, 3000 miles from home, was the best thing that ever happened to us. Being newly married it allowed us to focus on us. We had to learn to depend on each other, because we had no one else. There was no running to momma's house because one of was mad. We had no where to go, so we had to stick it out and work it out. With me just home from Iraq, we had to learn how to exist together. Hell for that matter I had to learn just how to exist in civilian life without things going BOOM! But most importantly, we got to learn who "WE" were and how to be "US" without the best intentions of nosy family members putting their two cents in.

     So to ALL our friends, family, and acquaintances, we leave behind in Moses Lake, we bid you farewell. Thank you all for your input in our lives no matter how big or small. May you each find God's presence in your life every day!

     Now onto the travel... So far we have survived and no one has killed anybody! So that is a win in itself.  It has been a pretty good first two days. Thankfully the weather, although a little rainy and foggy at times, has remained above freezing. and that is a GOOD thing!!! The rain and clouds parted late this morning and we had beautiful sun shiny skies for most of today. No chance of meatballs here.

     As I currently type this, Grizz is passed out on the bed beside me, while Shelby walks around still exploring the hotel room and barking at apparently nothing. The girls on the other hand are down enjoying the indoor pool. Daddy got dog sitting duty and that's okay. Hailey has done extremely well on the trip and deserves a dip in the chlorine bath.

     Everyone has done pretty well so far. Sure we have all been over tired, (well not me. supposedly someone was snoring and kept my wife up the first night) and a little stressed so there has been some minor irritation, but no talk of murder, divorce or abandonment. Okay, so I take that back. I have seen a few cornfields and canyons where I would like to have "forgotten" a dog or two, but then we would have to bring up the other word, divorce. SO alas, the dogs are still with us. This is our very first time traveling with dogs, and well it just adds to this wonderful adventure! Absolutely NO sarcasm there!

     So, traveling with dogs...Did I mention that I wanted to leave them somewhere? In case I didn't mention I'd like to leave them somewhere, I'd like to leave them somewhere, especially spaz-O-matic Grizz. Holy Sheep Shit Batman, he is high strung and nervous. If he were to "accidentally" get lost in some cornfield in Nebraska, I would really, truly, hate it. Then again I don't know if I can wait that long. That's still several days out. Now I understand how Clark Griswald "forgot" that he tied the dog to the bumper. Genius idea! Seriously they are both doing pretty good. They just naturally have plenty of pent up energy when we hit the hotel after being in their crates in the jeep all day. Shelby did puke in her crate twice, but she ate it so there was no mess to clean up. Yes you read that right. And Grizz, oh Grizz, he has peed in the hotel floor more times than I can count already, along with pissing the bed. Sorry hotel staff we had a bed wetter. What can I say he has a very very nervous bladder. So right now I ask that you stop reading this and say a prayer for us all to have patience.

      On our first day we made it to Boise, ID then pushed down to near Salt Lake City today. What a beautiful drive! I know where we are moving to in Chattanooga has been called God's country, but let me just say that God's country is scattered all over this giant globe. He has blessed us with so many breathtaking landscapes with beauty that escapes the imagination. Just outside our window now are jagged mountain peaks that look like their tips have been drizzled in marshmallow and covered in pine sprinkles.

     We spent the majority of our day driving across southern Idaho. Beautiful mountains, rolling hills and rugged canyons. We also saw lots and lots and lots of steak farms. So now I know where they grow steaks. For a while I thought we made a wrong turn and ended up in Montana. We also saw a real, live cattle drive. That is opposed to a fake dead one. There were cowboys on horses and they even had one of them there little cattle dogs.

     I will say that southern Idaho is not wild animal friendly. In fact, If you are a wild animal reading this I would suggest you never go there. Or if you do, stay away from the highway! I have seen enough roadkill today to feed the entire state of Delaware. Or better yet the state of Idaho. They really have no excuse for not feeding the homeless, needy and or school kids.

     So now we just finished feeding our faces some delicious pot roast. Hip Hip Hurray for NO fast food. Now it's time to get these doggies fed and take them out, AGAIN! Tomorrow we are off to Cheyenne Wyoming!

For now the Ormond's are signing out somewhere in Utah!