So far so good and the best news is...only one more day to go! We should hit Chattanooga tomorrow early afternoon! We had a light day today with only 4.5 hrs of drive time. So I let the girls sleep in a little this morning and we took our time getting on the road. Part of that was also strategic so we wouldn't hit St. Louis lunchtime traffic. Plus the late start let the temps get up above freezing and the freezing rain warning end.
We did start out with ugly gray skies and rain. Lots and Lots of rain. At times it was a pure toad strangler, but the roads weren't bad. It was just before having bad visibility. Fortunately after about 30 minutes the rain slowly dissipated away. I was briefly concerned when I started seeing a few snow flurries, but that never materialized into anything more. PHEEEWWWWWW! The rest of the drive was just over cast skies and pretty uneventful. Guess the day full of cloudy dark skies was to remind us of that state we left. Good bye Washington! Most importantly though, there was indeed a Starbucks within a mile of the hotel. So Bobbi got cafe-latte-frapu-wachamacallit-machino on board. No pouting required. As Uncle Si would say, she was Happy Happy Happy!
We finished rolling through Missouri today and the beauty continued. More rolling hills, meadows, pristine farmland and just pure beauty! When I say rolling, I mean rollllllllllllllllllllling. The highways are one continuous up and down on long, slow, long, gradual, long hills. Did I mention they were long hills? Not good on a big truck. Felt like I was on a kid roller coaster. I also noticed several very old barns, typically sitting isolated off by them self. They sat half dilapidated, looking like something out of a painting, or where they hold the hostages in a movie. I couldn't help but wonder what intriguing stories those old relics could tell. Hopefully none involving a chainsaw...
Then we hit St. Louis. OH My Golly Goodness Gracious Holy Hell St. Louis. One word TRAFFIC! Now keep in mind I am a Pitt County boy and do NOT like traffic. However in my defense I have driven in some of the busiest cities in the world. I just don't like to. But diving that big ass box on wheels, pulling her car on a trailer behind it through St. Louis. Never again! I almost got taken out by another box truck, but thankfully God was watching over me. Now I just have to repair the seat from the hole I pinched in it.
Next we rolled into Illinois which has more rollllllllling beauty, but not as much. Honestly when we hit Illinois, all I could think about was Obama was from here and I threw up in my mouth a little bit. We are currently snuggled in at Mount Vernon IL. I have yet to see the Mount, just more rolling hills.
On our drive today I did see several billboards advertising some interesting stores. I believe we were between Kansas City and St. Louis. One was for an Adult Super Store. I guess you can buy a super Adult there? I am not really sure. Apparently Super Adults are in high demand in that area because the next one was a couples Adult Super Store. I guess you can buy a matching pair there. Maybe a complete matching him and her set, or a him and him set or even a her and her set. Damn if I know. Guess whatever floats your boat, or whatever you can afford.
One thing I have learned on this week of driving, there are two constants that will always happen. First, on the rare chance that I actually come up on a slower vehicle that I need to pass, there will absolutely be some peckerwood coming up on my six, passing me on my left so I have to break my cruise control and wait for them to pass me first. Second, every so often due to traffic, hills or differences in cruise control I will catch my wife. As I creep up on her tail, pushing closer and closer, trying my best not to break my cruise control, she absolutely will not notice me and speed up until AFTER I break my cruise control. Nothing against her, or her driving, that's just my luck. Or maybe she just likes me riding her ass....By the way, can you tell nothing irritates me more than breaking my cruise control.
With all this driving and filling hours of boredom I had some serious things to ponder. For instance Spaz-O-matic Grizz. I call him that because he gets very excited. I mean very excited, like bouncing off the walls, like did you ever see the movie Flubber? Think bouncing rubber super ball in the form of a dog. He also has a very nervous bladder. Being a rescue dog we don't know his back story, but it doesn't take much excitement or fear and oh Spaz-O is pissing a trail of retreat. This got me to thinking....If Grizz was a rapper, what would his rapper name be? Grizz da Wizz, Master Pee, Sir Piss A Lot, Lil Dribble, Lil Wizz? Any of those would be fitting. Glad I could decipher that important issue in between my karaoke dance parties.
I do want to share with you a game we played today. On occasion, rare occasion, I actually pass Bobbi on the highway. I don't know if it is the cruise not syncing, her not paying attention, or her feeling sorry for me. Anyway, today as I passed her I leaned forward, dropped my head down and stuck my right arm straight out, doing my best Super Man impersonation as I flew by her (It's an inside joke). She then speeds up and as she passes by she is moving one arm over the other as if doing a free-style swim past me. Then as I pass her again I am pulling hand over hand like I am pulling myself up a rope. All the while we are both laughing hysterically.
I Love that woman! I also love that we laugh so much together, and often times AT each other. My point being our house is always filled with laughter. Many kids across the world go to bed cowering under their covers, hiding from mommy and daddies yelling, screaming, and fighting. At our house, Hailey has to yell at us because our laughing is keeping her up. That's a good problem to have.
Ok folks, the Ormond's are signing out. Tomorrow we will be HOME! Tennessee prepare yourself!!!
Heaven help the Chatanoogians......
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