Chattanooga - a few days in...

     Greetings and salutations friends, loved ones and all you other folks! Without covering a few states in a day there has not been as much to write about. Nonetheless we have been plenty busy being bored. At this point I could care less if I never ever never ever ever ever stayed in a hotel again. This past couple weeks has certainly made me even more thankful for my job that allows me to stay home. I would not want to be one of those that lived out of hotels and suitcases for most of the year. No thank you! That's almost as bad as base hopping across Iraq living out of a back pack. Yeah, OK! Not even close. At least here there has been no 16 hour days sleeping on a concrete slab at the flight line.

     First things first, we have a new home. Well kinda. We will have a new apartment tomorrow. Yahoo for check out in the morning! Friday morning we slept in a little after driving 7 days. For me that meant I made it til almost 0800. Once up I made contact with Steve and we set off to drop my date for last week off at the VW plant. They were nice enough to allow me to park Ol' Penske in a staging lot behind the EOC. That way our entire life's worth of stuff would be a little more secure than at the hotel.

     From there we linked up with my boss, checked bunker gear sizes, received a crap ton of uniforms, got badged, and receive a meal card. As it just so happened my future shift was working so I got to meet most of them. Thank goodness they all wear their names on their shirts, because I will not remember them for at least 3 months. The ones I remember prior to that probably wont be good. Which, yes for those of you thinking it, they may be like I use to be...or worse. But hey I turned out pretty good. Okay, well at least pretty! ;-)

     Seriously they all seemed pretty nice and eager to help. I know I am excited to get up to speed and start having fun. Hopefully after I left they all weren't wondering who the tattooed skint head was? It would not be the first time I was confused and mistaken for a skint head communist by a new employee! But then again I am working for German engineering now. Just sayin. Maybe it's a new leadership model to shoot for. Pardon the pun.

     Once the meet and greet was all done Bobbi and I headed out apartment hunting. She had her list ready to go, and I was driving. I most certainly did not have a list and don't even ask about that. Moving on. Fortunately thanks to some pre-planning and screening on our part we had a good idea where to go and in less than a few stops had found our new temporary home. We are getting a 2 bedroom apt. about 1350 sq. feet. Granted it will take some getting use to after leaving our 2000+ sq. feet home, but it is a lot better than these hotels! Actually it is a little bigger that the first house we rented in Mose Lake.

     Since then it's been taking care of electricity, insurance and the 42 hundred other details of moving to another state. Oh and by the way, Tennessee is one of the highest states to get auto insurance in. Apparently no damn body around here can drive. And I thought Pitt county was bad. Now that I've been here a couple days, I see why insurance is higher. My blood pressure will be too.

     Traffic, Om my goodness golly gracious holy hell, the traffic. Now you would think with living in Greenville most of my life, this population wouldn't be that big of an adjustment. But for the last 5 years we have been living in a population of 20k people. The 5 years before that it was small military bases. So it has been and will be for some time, one hell of an adjustment!

     Since we found an apartment early, I headed off to the Gold's gym 2 minutes down the road. I swear when I walked in the door I heard angels singing. It was so nice not to be in one of these hotel fitness closets.  This place was so massive and had so much equipment I didn't know where to start. I was like an over-sized kid in a candy store. There are a few more gyms around and I will check them out before joining. But Gold's is looking pretty high on the list. There is a Planet Fatness and I will have to go there. My goal is to get thrown our before I get started. I am sure it won't take long to set off the lunk alarm. And yes they have those.

     Other than all that it has been a lot of hanging out in the hotel room and Hailey's daily trip to the indoor pool, not to mention a lot of eating take out. Oh my craptastic take out. I have tried to do subway as much as possible, but the other 2 chics aren't down for that. At this point we have been living on takeout for about 2 weeks and we now just argue over where we don't want to eat.  Even here with all these new options it all starts to taste like morbid piles of fatness. Oh wait, that's how I feel after eating it all.

     There has also been a whole lot of getting on each others nerves. Yes even the sweet Ormond family. You try living with your family in one room for evvvvvvvvvvver. Actually we haven't been that bad. Well except for one. I wont name names, but her initials are Hailey Scott. Let's just say my wife had a daughter JUST like her, and no I don't mean loveable and sweet. I think Little Miss Attitudy or LB (Little Bobbi) as I call her, is over this hotel thing.  But so far no one has killed anyone, YET. I have threatened to slap her head back to Missouri though.

     All in all things are going well. Once we get unloaded tomorrow the fun begins and there will be no time for boredom. I start with some job shadowing/training shifts on Wed and then its on shift for me starting next Monday. Bobbi will be handling the unpacking and settling in along with getting Hailey registered for school and keeping a check on her dad's status. He starts his chemo next week so please keep him in your prayers. The best news is on the 29th we are heading home for a week. The first time we have spent the holidays at home in 5 years. For me it will only be the second holiday home in 10 years! Yes we are excited.

The Ormond's are signing off so we can rest up for our busy day of moving!

Travelog Day 7 - The trip is over; the journey begins!

     You really don't know how happy I am that this is the last day of the travelog! Not that the blog is ending, but that this trip is over. Holy rollie pollie, 7 days is a lot of driving. Even though this has been a pretty low stress, easy paced trip, it takes its toll. Of course today being the last day was the day that everything was off, from late start, to traffic, to road construction, to wrong turns. You name it, it happened today, BUT we made it here safely! And in case I didn't tell you, I am sooooo glad this trip is done! In fact it is so done, that I am hiring a chauffeur for the rest of the year. I am tired of driving! 

     Of course our morning started out with the daily Starbucks google search. Results not favorable. Closest one 40 miles. Bobbi's response, "how do they live without Starbucks?". I couldn't help but laugh. To her credit though, she sucked it up like a good soldier and there was no crisis. She went and got her a drip coffee and red bull! No pouting required. Then after topping off both fuel tanks we were off to Chattanooga!

     We finished up across southern Illinois, which I must say is quite beautiful. Almost as gorgeous as Missouri. Plenty of rolling hills and lush farm land. I still cant help but get that putrid taste of vomit in my mouth though. Every time I think Illinois I see Obama. Why of Why didn't they keep him??? Anyway, moving one before I get depressed and want to denounce my citizenship, we then cut across the tip of Kentucky. That is always a pleasure to drive through. They don't call it Kentucky blue grass for nothing. Finally we dropped down into our new home state of Tennessee! 

     As we drove through that entire region we started to get more into larger forests. Driving along looking through the spindly appendages of the naked trees  I was enjoying the variety. Noticing the elm, gum, oak, and poplar with a blend of pines mixed among them reminded me of home. Especially after living in that evergreen state for a while. Then something else caught my eye. A large mass of leaves balled in the top of the limbs. Yes, the nest of the elusive fuzzy tailed tree rat. Also known as the squirrel.

     I was then flooded with some of the fondest memories of my childhood. Squirrel hunting with my dad and pap-paw. My mind returned to trips floating Tranter's creek in an old john boat and hiking the forest shaking vines. I was typically the last to see the squirrels, mainly because I was busy looking at everything else, but they usually let me take the first shot. I'd give anything to drift that creek one more time with my pap-paw. I miss that old man!

     Ok that just got sad. Moving on...The last two days I have noticed several large sections of guardrail completely destroyed along the highway. I am not talking a little dented up here. These sections, often 50-100 long, looked they were the collateral damage of a Decepticon and Autobot battle scene.  As I passed, I couldn't help but say a little prayer for whomever was involved in each of those tragedies.

     Around lunch time my wife sees a sign for Chic-Fil-A and could not control herself. Without even realizing it the jeep automatically veered toward the off ramp and away she went. Unfortunately I was following her in the 26' long moving truck with her car on a trailer behind me. Why is that important you may ask? Because good ol' Chic-Fil-Ayyyyyyyyy was a mile into town, through the mall parking lot. Oh and did you know it is prime Christmas shopping season? It is not even safe to drive a compact car in the mall parking lot right now. As I step out of the truck I hear "I love you". I admit it was good, but jeeesh louise every dang shopper in that mall was at Chic-Fil-A. I am guessing there were close to 42 thousand people in there. Or at least it felt like it. Did I mention it was good!?!?

     Back on the road I saw another sign for an Adult Super Store. This one advertised for Men and Women, but is said nothing about couples. I guess you can buy a super man or woman but they don't carry matching sets like the other store. I am really not sure about these stores. Oh but speaking of Super man, we passed an exit to a town called Metropolis. The sign stated that had a huge Super Man Statue! I didn't see the sign until we were passing it! Bummmmmer! I REALLY wanted to see that statue!

     Not long into Tennessee we hit Nashville. It looked quite impressive as the skyline came into view. I could smell country music in the air. But we are not going to talk about Nashville, or the stop we made in Nashville, or the scenic tour of the Nashville ghetto we took.  Nuff said. Moving on...

     Once on the other side of the ghetto, FINALLY back on the highway, we hit a rolling parking lot. I mean it stopped, traffic backed up for miles as far as you could see. The sign warned of pothole patching up ahead. This slow rolling snail pace super stall crawl crept on for miles. Suddenly the traffic opened up, spread out and everyone was off. Never did see the first pothole patching crew, nor any other dang sign of construction workers. Everyone slowed down to a tortoise pace for nothing.

     I did notice something a little ironic today. Bare with me as I reminisce a bit. It was about 27 years ago I started my firefighting career as a young teen following in my dads footsteps. I started with the Pactolus Rural Volunteer Fire Department. It was station number 24. Today my new career in Industrial Firefighting brings us back closer to our family in our new home in Chattanooga. It was highway 24 that carried us into Tennessee all the way to Chattanooga. I think that is just kinda cool!

     Throughout this travelog I have been a bit harsh on the Midwest. Please know I meant no disrespect to anyone or any of the states we had the pleasure of passing through. I know that each and every mile we traveled was a wonderful creation of God and each one beautiful in its own way. With each serving its own purpose in His plan, just as every person living there. For that I am grateful. I was just transposing the twisted reality that exists only in my head. With 7 days of driving I had to laugh so I wouldn't cry. I am truly thankful for having been blessed with the opportunity to pass through every state we did on our cross country journey!

     Now that we are home, we have to find our new temporary home. Apartment searching begins tomorrow.  Oh joy! From over 2000 square feet to an apartment. But we will survive!!! The plan is to hopefully get an apartment for 3 months to give our home time to sell. Then we can start the process of finding our permanent home to buy. With that being said, the blog will slow down now. I do plan to keep you all abreast of our journey and adjustments. So stay tuned.

Travelog 6.5 an Addendum

     I realized after I posted last nights travelog, I had forgotten an important part. The most significant thing that happened yesterday.

     About 3 or so hours into our journey we had to make an unscheduled stop at a rest stop. Bobbi was having a minor issue with the jeep that I needed to take care. Of course I wasn't happy about this annoyance, as it was slowing me down, but it was just one of those things.

     While I am in the restroom waiting in line, a kid comes up to me and says "excuse me sir, how long is it to downtown St. Louis?" I call him a kid but he was a young man in his early twenties. I explained I was somewhere between Washington and Chattanooga and had no earthly idea. We then spoke briefly of our travels. He then leaves to find the answer to his question.

     As I am finishing up I hear him come back in talking on the phone. He has discovered it is 45 minutes to St. Louis and is explaining to someone on the phone something about a tire blowing out and a gas light coming on. I really pay it no attention, wash up and leave. He comes out after me and starts to approach as I am waiting for the girls. Still on the phone he says "hold on dad" and drops the phone. With a somewhat panicked and frazzled  look on his face he starts with "I'm sorry sir, but can I ask you a huge favor?"

     He then starts with his story. I admit my BS meter automatically pegged. I stood with completely closed off body language, arms crossed and doubt all over my face. He proceeds to tell me about his grandfather that had been taken to the hospital in St. Louis and he was trying to make it there. He had bought a car to get back and forth to work on, and on the way here his tire blew. He got that fixed only for his gas light to come on next. He made it to a gas station but his debit card popped up insufficient funds as the tire repair had wiped him out. The gas station attendant told him the Missouri DOT would be at this rest stop and maybe they could help him. They were not there. So as he finishes up his story he had a look of complete desperation on his face and says "I'm sorry but I don't know what else to do but ask".

     Something changed in my heart. I was not closed off. I remember what it was like wishing I could get back to see my grandfather as he was dying a few years back. Something was different about this kid. As I pulled out my wallet I told him I only had $20 cash on me, but it would get him where he needed to go. I thought he was going to cry. He shoved his hand forward to shake mine, giving me his full name and immediately asked how he could pay me back. I placed the $20 in his hand and told him to just return the favor to someone else one day.  His next response was "are you serious?" I shook his hand and wished him God's blessings, sending him on his way.

     Did I get taken for $20? Maybe, but I don't think so. In fact I know not. Don't get me wrong, I am the worlds biggest skeptic. We are surrounded by a world where people make a living as beggars, all with many different circumstances. I am not saying they are all a fraud, but we can't help but have that thought every time we see a "homeless" person or a "needy" person. I am always skeptical when I see them holding a sign or a cup. In fact it is always my first thought. I rarely ever help them. I can't help it, the world we live in has made me that way. Is that the good Christian thing to do? No absolutely not, but again I can't help it. But I do try to listen to my heart. If my heart tells me to help them I do.

     We were not supposed to be at that rest stop at that time, but we were. Due to a late start, rain slowing us down and an unexpected jeep issue we had stopped at that particular rest stop at that precise time. It was for a reason bigger than we initially understood. That young man needed an angel. There was not one around so God sent me. 

     If you let Jesus sit on the throne of your heart, you cannot go wrong with listening to it. He will always tell you the right thing to do. The trick is learning how to listen to it and let Him guide you. It takes time, and prayer but Jesus is always willing to sit on the throne of your heart. All you have to do is invite him in.

Travel Day 6 - No sunglasses required!

    Good morning, evening, or night! Whatever it is wherever you are right now. Hell, I don't even know what time zone I'm in. After 6 days of driving the only thing I am certain of is that I am still in the continental United States. That's only because I have not been on any extremely long bridges. Or maybe I was and I slept through it...

     So far so good and the best news is...only one more day to go! We should hit Chattanooga tomorrow early afternoon! We had a light day today with only 4.5 hrs of drive time. So I let the girls sleep in a little this morning and we took our time getting on the road. Part of that was also strategic so we wouldn't hit St. Louis lunchtime traffic. Plus the late start let the temps get up above freezing and the freezing rain warning end.

     We did start out with ugly gray skies and rain. Lots and Lots of rain. At times it was a pure toad strangler, but the roads weren't bad. It was just before having bad visibility. Fortunately after about 30 minutes the rain slowly dissipated away. I was briefly concerned when I started seeing a few snow flurries, but that never materialized into anything more. PHEEEWWWWWW! The rest of the drive was just over cast skies and pretty uneventful. Guess the day full of cloudy dark skies was to remind us of that state we left. Good bye Washington! Most importantly though, there was indeed a Starbucks within a mile of the hotel. So Bobbi got cafe-latte-frapu-wachamacallit-machino on board. No pouting required. As Uncle Si would say, she was Happy Happy Happy!

     We finished rolling through Missouri today and the beauty continued. More rolling hills, meadows, pristine farmland and just pure beauty! When I say rolling, I mean rollllllllllllllllllllling. The highways are one continuous up and down on long, slow, long, gradual, long hills. Did I mention they were long hills? Not good on a big truck. Felt like I was on a kid roller coaster. I also noticed several very old barns, typically sitting isolated off by them self. They sat half dilapidated, looking like something out of a painting, or where they hold the hostages in a movie. I couldn't help but wonder what intriguing stories those old relics could tell.  Hopefully none involving a chainsaw...

     Then we hit St. Louis. OH My Golly Goodness Gracious Holy Hell St. Louis. One word TRAFFIC! Now keep in mind I am a Pitt County boy and do NOT like traffic. However in my defense I have driven in some of the busiest cities in the world. I just don't like to. But diving that big ass box on wheels, pulling her car on a trailer behind it through St. Louis. Never again! I almost got taken out by another box truck, but thankfully God was watching over me. Now I just have to repair the seat from the hole I pinched in it.

     Next we rolled into Illinois which has more rollllllllling beauty, but not as much.  Honestly when we hit Illinois, all I could think about was Obama was from here and I threw up in my mouth a little bit. We are currently snuggled in at Mount Vernon IL. I have yet to see the Mount, just more rolling hills.

     On our drive today I did see several billboards advertising some interesting stores. I believe we were between Kansas City and St. Louis. One was for an Adult Super Store. I guess you can buy a super Adult there? I am not really sure. Apparently Super Adults are in high demand in that area because the next one was a couples Adult Super Store. I guess you can buy a matching pair there. Maybe a complete matching him and her set, or a him and him set or even a her and her set. Damn if I know. Guess whatever floats your boat, or whatever you can afford.

     One thing I have learned on this week of driving, there are two constants that will always happen. First, on the rare chance that I actually come up on a slower vehicle that I need to pass, there will absolutely be some peckerwood coming up on my six, passing me on my left so I have to break my cruise control and wait for them to pass me first. Second, every so often due to traffic, hills or differences in cruise control I will catch my wife. As I creep up on her tail, pushing closer and closer, trying my best not to break my cruise control, she absolutely will not notice me and speed up until AFTER I break my cruise control. Nothing against her, or her driving, that's just my luck. Or maybe she just likes me riding her ass....By the way, can you tell nothing irritates me more than breaking my cruise control.

     With all this driving and filling hours of boredom I had some serious things to ponder. For instance Spaz-O-matic Grizz. I call him that because he gets very excited. I mean very excited, like bouncing off the walls, like did you ever see the movie Flubber? Think bouncing rubber super ball in the form of a dog. He also has a very nervous bladder. Being a rescue dog we don't know his back story, but it doesn't take much excitement or fear and oh Spaz-O is pissing a trail of retreat. This got me to thinking....If Grizz was a rapper, what would his rapper name be? Grizz da Wizz, Master Pee, Sir Piss A Lot, Lil Dribble, Lil Wizz? Any of those would be fitting. Glad I could decipher that important issue in between my karaoke dance parties.

      I do want to share with you a game we played today. On occasion, rare occasion, I actually pass Bobbi on the highway. I don't know if it is the cruise not syncing, her not paying attention, or her feeling sorry for me. Anyway, today as I passed her I leaned forward, dropped my head down and stuck my right arm straight out, doing my best Super Man impersonation as I flew by her (It's an inside joke).  She then speeds up and as she passes by she is moving one arm over the other as if doing a free-style swim past me. Then as I pass her again I am pulling hand over hand like I am pulling myself up a rope. All the while we are both laughing hysterically.

     I Love that woman! I also love that we laugh so much together, and often times AT each other. My point being our house is always filled with laughter. Many kids across the world go to bed cowering under their covers, hiding from mommy and daddies yelling, screaming, and fighting. At our house, Hailey has to yell at us because our laughing is keeping her up. That's a good problem to have.

     Ok folks, the Ormond's are signing out. Tomorrow we will be HOME! Tennessee prepare yourself!!!

Day High FIVE!

      Welcome back fans! I appreciate the comments and feedback. It's nice to know people at least read these. Today we were blessed with another uneventful day, and when your driving cross country that is a GOOD thing!

     We did start out the day with a near crisis; a coffee crisis at that. For those of you that don't know, my wife openly admits she is a coffee snob. She doesn't like drip coffee and must have the iced, skinny, non-fat, non-healthy, caramel - sugary - sweet, frap-u-wacha-machino; or some other 50 cent word foo foo coffee drink. Well as I described yesterday, there is NOTHING in Nebraskuhhhhh. Which means there certainly isn't a Starbucks close by.

     To her delight she Googled Starbucks and found one "only 6 miles away". Then Mr. Garmin burst her bubble when she poked him with her finger a few times for destination cup-O-syrup, and he told her it was 20 minutes away. Of course it was 20 minutes into some town in the wrong direction. My immediate response being, "we are not wasting an hour to go get coffee". She questioned "what am I supposed to do?" with the saddest look that resembled a kid being told someone had stolen Christmas. In my sweetest, most lovingist, most understandingist, husbandy voice I replied "you're going into that gas station over there and getting a Redbull and we're hitting the road". Knowing she had NO other option, she puttered off across the parking lot to the gas station. Even the jeep looked like it was pouting. I honestly thought I was going to have to break out some combat medic skills, grab an ink pen and start a Redbull IV on her. Oh and by the way, did I mention that I sure love my wife!

     Over the years, a tradition we started is collecting a magnet at all the places we have traveled. Our fridge is covered in magnets from half the states and around the world. So anyway, this morning only 22 minutes into our drive I received a text that we needed to stop for a Nebraska magnet. Yes 22 minutes into our 5 hour drive we made our first stop, and I of course was absolutely thrilled, happy and ecstatic about it! I am certain that if we had missed that magnet from Nebraska our refrigerator would have completely fallen apart. Honestly we could have just placed a blank black magnet with nothing on it and that would be a great resemblance of Nebraska!   

     I do have to confess we did actually find something in Nebraska. The city of Lincoln. Apparently that is the birthplace of half the trains in America. There may be nothing in Nebraska, but holy hell there is one heckuva rail yard there. I saw more trains in Lincoln than I have my entire life. Lincoln is also home to a major failure in highway engineering. We had to switch from I-80 East to I-29 and that is not as simple as just taking an exit on to the freeway like most places. Oh no, you must take Hwy 2 through Lincoln, traveling at a lovely 45 mph pace, stopping at approximately 42 stoplights.  I am quite certain they done this on purpose to force any poor soul that is crossing this desolate, baron land called Nebraskuhhhhhh to funnel into their city. Talk about a trap!

     Once you get out of Lincoln, you stay on Hwy 2 for a while, cut across the corner of Iowa, then drop down into Missouri and finally pick up I-29. We were literally in Iowa for about 15 minutes. Thank God! We've been through Iowa once, that was enough. But back to Hwy-2, piece of crap cement road obviously installed by the same incompetents that put the Hwy in Cheyenne! Plenty more seams or dips rather in the road. The pace went something like Dippy  Dippy Dippy Dip DipDipDiDiDiDiDiDiDiDiDipDipDipDiDiDiDipDipDippy. You get the point. But thanks to Hwy 2, it drove my Arse so far up into my head I was able to give myself a rectal exam. Thank you Nebraska! You just saved me $2400.

      Driving into Missouri it only got better. The landscape slowly started changing into rolling hills and beautiful meadows. Trees started to speckle the horizon and soon there were bare forest with sparse foliage. To some that may not sound very pretty, a bunch of nekkid trees. But to me it is a beautiful sight that reminds me I am getting closer to home. After living in the evergreen state for the last 5 years, these bare trees are a sight to behold! I also noticed numerous large spacious homes nestled into the rolling hills and valleys. I could definitely live here! I did notice one thing about Missouri though. They do have a fairly low standard on what they consider a creek. From what I saw they all look more like ditches. All but one of the so called creeks we drove over I could have cleared with a good running start. The drive through Missouri only got prettier, that is until we hit Kansas City. I think two thirds of Missouri's population lives here. We did drive past the Royal's and Arrowhead stadiums. Pretty impressive! Now we are snuggled in just outside of KC in Blue Springs.

     While here, I was fortunate to catch up with a dear old friend, Ben Morrow. Ironically it was 10 years ago tomorrow, 12/10/04, that we shipped out to Iraq together. Neither of us had any idea what we had gotten ourselves into. It has been just over 5 years since we last saw each other, yet today we picked up just like we left off, never missing a beat. It was almost as if time had stood still. Sure we have gotten a little older, a little more mature, and a lot better looking, but our friendship had not changed a bit. That unique kind of friendship is called brotherhood. You see there's something about almost dying together, on more than a few occasions, that creates a special bond. One that only a few will understand, and most will never experience.

   Signing out for now...Tomorrow it's off to Mount Vernon Illinois!

Travel day Quatro

First of all before I get into the humor of our trip, I want to give all glory to God for the blessings he has paved before us on trip.  The weather thus far could not have been any better. We have seen snow everywhere from mountain caps, to scattered across the hills, to covering the roadside. Streams, rivers, lakes and ponds have all been frozen but the roads have been clear and the temperatures have been in the upper 40’s.  Thank you Lord!

Nebraska – pronounced Nuh-brass-Kuh – Origin Native American meaning rolling nothingness.

We are currently bedded down in Grand Island, Nebraska. Why in the heck they call it an Island when there’s NO water here is beyond me. Not to mention the extreme lack of anything “grand”.  For those of you who have never been to Nebraska, don’t! There truly is nothing here; and when I say nothing that is an extreme understatement. Unfortunately there is no other word that means more nothingness than nothing. I mean even the exits have nothing. No truck stops, no rest areas, just exits to nothing.

I have witnessed brief patches of evidence that would suggest there were some wheat and cornfields here at one time. But this time of year the fields are all plowed and disked and there is nothing. Nothing but dirt. I couldn't even find a cornfield to "lose" Grizz in. There are no steak farms, or wool farms, just what could be described as America’s largest dirt farm. Yep they raise dirt here and lots of it!

There has barely been any road kill since we hit Nebraska either. Even the wild animals are smart enough not to come here; at least most of them anyway. I did discover a new type of deer though, a spread deer. It’s amazing how far a tractor-trailer can spread a deer down the roadway. In fact it’s almost as far as a C-17 can spread a coyote down a runway.  Speaking of road kill, I have learned something else too!  Males are much, much smarter than females.  Before you ladies get your panties in a bunch I have hard-core data to prove that statement. Out of all the deer, and parts of deer I have seen scattered down the highways, and I have seen a LOT, not a single one of them were male.  Just saying….

 Even though Nebraska has been an abyss of nothing, nada, zilch, prior to that our day was still interesting.  It started when we checked out of our hotel in Laramie. The hotel manager’s last name was Disney. Now I am assuming no relation, or else she probably would not be working at a hotel in Wyoming. Who knows though, maybe her uncle was Walt and maybe, just maybe, she was just excommunicated from the family for having no imagination???? Or maybe she had a horrific fear of mice???? Or maybe she was just plain goofy??? Oh I am having too much fun with this. Moving on…

The roadways in Wyoming leave a lot to be desired. Starting near Cheyenne and sporadically carrying on to the state of nothing, I mean Nebraska. The roads were BUMPY! They were the cement kind and they were covered in the tar seams, lots and lots of seams that were very very very bumpy. In fact I am quite certain that my rectum has been compacted into my cerebellum and now I will have even more shitty ideas!

I also made another discovery in Wyoming. It was a Wal-Mart distribution center.  Now we all know that everything Wal-Mart sells is made in China. So apparently this is a distribution center for the “People of Wal-Mart”.  I knew there was no way that all those people just randomly showed up at Wal-Mart. They have a gigantic facility with hundreds of tractor-trailers lined up to sort and deliver the “people of Wal-Mart” to a location near you. A 400 pounder in a thong to Chicago, an anorexic 60 year old man with fake boobs to Albuquerque, you get the drift.  Once again my friends we have been had by a brilliant marketing scheme!

I am thrilled to say that we are over half way done with our journey. About 1500 miles down, and a thousand more to go. With the time I have spent in that Penske truck we have become intimately close. As any good driver operator knows, you learn to listen to the truck, you memorize her sounds. For instance I know when Ol’ Penske starts to moan that low sultry groan, that she is putting out a little more than she wants to and it also means she just hit 2100 RPMS. That means we are going all out, balls to the wall up hill. She is giving everything she’s got.  It also means I start praying a little bit harder. I think I can, I think I can….

I am also challenged to find ways to entertain myself in the cab all alone. I try not to eat of boredom now that I am tobacco free, so I chew on coffee stirrers. They are calorie free. I also make funny faces and snarl at passing vehicles, especially the kids. But mostly I have one helluva 6 hour karaoke dance party all by myself! So far no complaints.

Everyone is doing pretty well. We are taking it slow and easy, no rush, no hurry. Typically we get on the road by 0930. If you ask me that’s pretty good considering I have 2 females and 2 dogs traveling with me. Then we knock out about 5-6 hrs of driving and thus far the stops have been minimal. Bobbi is doing a great job navigating. The jeep has the GPS so she leads the way. She has learned my limitations in the big truck and plans accordingly, at least for the most part. And when she doesn’t, I am all alone in the truck and no one knows if I say anything ugly J  Not that I would ever…..

Tomorrow we are heading to Kansas City Missouri. There I will reunite with my old friend Ben from Iraq. Do you know what happens when TWO Bens get together? Nothing but pure awesomeness! It will be great to see him again after 5 years and I am super excited!

Since I started this off with a serious note, I want to end that way as well. Each day of driving I have found a great sermon on the radio to listen to.  Todays really gave me something to think about and I wanted to share it with you. Give you a little something to chew on.

In the Bible, Jesus teaches us to pray “Give us this day, our daily bread” But now days our cupboards, and pantries, and refrigerators are full of “daily bread”. It is abundance that ciphers our dependence. If you are blessed with a roof over your head, a house full of food, or healthy family, don’t let that abundance take away your dependence on the Lord.   

Travel Day 3 Amigos

     Deer. Oh Deer. Oh my Deer! No that is not a typo, and I don't mean my wife. I mean the 4 legged kind. Well most of them had 4 legs, or at least I am certain they started out with 4 legs. I had no iDeer there were so many different kinds of deer. Today we saw short deer, tall deer, round deer, flat deer, half deer, whole deer, splat deer, swole deer, rotten deer, bloated deer, eaten deer, exploded deer, disintegrated deer, and parts of deer. BUT no where along the way did we see a live deer. My point being, if YOU are a deer, do not live in or around the Utah/Wyoming region. It could be hazardous to your health.

     I will say this though, apparently those little prong horns are much smarter and/or faster than deer. We saw hundreds of those little miniature gazelle wannabe's and not no where did we ever see even part of one splattered down the high way. They also seem to be very sociable creatures. We often saw them hanging out with herds of horses and cows. Or maybe they are confused and having an identity crisis. Either way, much smarter than deer! and Grizz!...Spaz-O-matic!

     Today was a great and beautiful day for traveling. As we pulled out of Ogden Utah the sun had broken over the mountains and the sun was shining. I don't think I have ever seen bluer skies. Those deep blue skies stayed with us throughout the day, with the exception of a few stray cotton balls that floated by.

     After driving through Utah, I can certainly understand why people live there. Absolutely gorgeous!!! The entire trip we were enveloped in rolling hills, snow capped mountains, and jagged canyons.  All along the way the landscape was decorated with impressive and often massive rock formations. We saw ledges jutting out of canyon walls, boulders stacked in ways that only God could explain, and what I can only describe as stone statues that looked like they were extracted from straight down deep within the earth's core. It felt like I was driving straight through from one jig saw puzzle to the next. However WE could not live there because I never saw a Target or anything that even resembled a mall.

     Next up we crossed over into Wyoming. I think the Wy comes from Why in the hell would anybody live here. Miles and miles filled with acres and acres of pure vast nothingness. I promise you i am not exaggerating!  Definitely cowboy country. I think that's all that lives here 1 cow and a boy.

     Throughout the day along with the nothingness, God's canvas, and the road kill we did see numerous farms. Of course we saw many many more steak farms, as well as a few wool farms. I always wondered how they grew those socks. We also saw a few farms that raised cowboy transportation. Then in Wyoming there were plenty of tumbleweed farms. Felt like I was back in Moses Lake, only slightly more elevated. I also saw a horse that was lost. Or at least I am pretty sure he was lost. Miles and miles of nothing and 1 lone horse standing all alone. Or maybe he was just socially awkward. I have worked with a few people like that.

     I also learned that in Wyoming the fence builders don't know how to build corners. Miles and miles or straight fences lined up, one behind the other, and none of them connected. No wonder so many deer get hit. The fences don't connect to keep them in. Duhhhhhhh!

     As for the dogs... Well they are actually getting better. Are they annoying? Yes! But then again they are breathing. I do think they are getting the hang of this traveling. Or maybe we humans are just getting the hang of traveling with dogs. Ol' Spaz-O-matic Griz has not peed the floor today, but the night is young. I do think he is getting a little more nervous than normal because he knows we hit Nebraska tomorrow. Just saying...I am sure there are some wide open corn fields he would love to explore.  Hailey said I couldn't leave him. My response was between Grizz, Shelby and her, one of them wasn't making it out of Nebraska.

     At the end of the day I have learned you just have to prepare properly for a road trip with  my family. The first thing you must pack is your sense of humor and leave your sense of urgency behind. I mean only while traveling with my wife and daughter do you stop for a potty break 15 minutes before you reach the hotel. Really?!?!? Final destination in sight, but wait let's first stop and explore another grimy, grungy public potty and buy one more souvenir.

     Seriously though, we are all doing well and making great time. No rush, no stress (well not much) and cooperative weather. Tomorrow we head out rolling towards Grand Island Nebraska. Watch out Grizz...

Farewell Moses Lake - Day Two of Travel

     Yep! You can guess why there was no Day One of travel on the blog. We barely survived it. Ha! No actually it wasn't that bad, just a long, long day! Before we could hit the road yesterday morning we had to go back to the house and do a final cleaning, wipe down, vacuum, spot scrub, throw out the trash and every damn thing else we didn't have time to do on Thursday. I tried to "forget" the dogs, but that didn't work...

     First of all I want to start with my farewell. In the last 5 years we have been blessed to meet some truly amazing people. God has put some wonderful people in our lives and they ALL helped us grow in their own way. Some from their pure heart and overwhelming desire to serve God, and, well, let's just say others helped us by showing us what not to do! But such is life...

     It has been a very emotionally draining past couple of weeks. The reality of the move crept in, actually it jumped Slam, Damn, in. I swear it seemed like we were 2 weeks out from the move for a month, and then BAMMM! All of a sudden we were at T-minus 2 days and counting. So along with making the mad dash of  final packing/loading we shared many tear filled good byes. Again we were so blessed to share so many farewell meals with our friends. We have cried more in the last 2 weeks than we did when we first rolled into town and saw Moses Lake for the first time. Sorry to those of you we missed.There just simply was not enough time.

     As many bad jokes as there are about Moses "Hole" and how there's no reason to go there, I can say this. My family and I are better people for having lived there. The relationships we built and friendships we made will last us a life time. We got to meet and work with some amazing folks. SO MANY people showed us, NOT told us how to live a Godly life, and for that we will be forever grateful. In our time here both my daughters and I were baptized, and my wife dedicated her life to the Lord. The spiritual growth I have witnessed in my house makes me a very happy man.

     Moving all the way out here, 3000 miles from home, was the best thing that ever happened to us. Being newly married it allowed us to focus on us. We had to learn to depend on each other, because we had no one else. There was no running to momma's house because one of was mad. We had no where to go, so we had to stick it out and work it out. With me just home from Iraq, we had to learn how to exist together. Hell for that matter I had to learn just how to exist in civilian life without things going BOOM! But most importantly, we got to learn who "WE" were and how to be "US" without the best intentions of nosy family members putting their two cents in.

     So to ALL our friends, family, and acquaintances, we leave behind in Moses Lake, we bid you farewell. Thank you all for your input in our lives no matter how big or small. May you each find God's presence in your life every day!

     Now onto the travel... So far we have survived and no one has killed anybody! So that is a win in itself.  It has been a pretty good first two days. Thankfully the weather, although a little rainy and foggy at times, has remained above freezing. and that is a GOOD thing!!! The rain and clouds parted late this morning and we had beautiful sun shiny skies for most of today. No chance of meatballs here.

     As I currently type this, Grizz is passed out on the bed beside me, while Shelby walks around still exploring the hotel room and barking at apparently nothing. The girls on the other hand are down enjoying the indoor pool. Daddy got dog sitting duty and that's okay. Hailey has done extremely well on the trip and deserves a dip in the chlorine bath.

     Everyone has done pretty well so far. Sure we have all been over tired, (well not me. supposedly someone was snoring and kept my wife up the first night) and a little stressed so there has been some minor irritation, but no talk of murder, divorce or abandonment. Okay, so I take that back. I have seen a few cornfields and canyons where I would like to have "forgotten" a dog or two, but then we would have to bring up the other word, divorce. SO alas, the dogs are still with us. This is our very first time traveling with dogs, and well it just adds to this wonderful adventure! Absolutely NO sarcasm there!

     So, traveling with dogs...Did I mention that I wanted to leave them somewhere? In case I didn't mention I'd like to leave them somewhere, I'd like to leave them somewhere, especially spaz-O-matic Grizz. Holy Sheep Shit Batman, he is high strung and nervous. If he were to "accidentally" get lost in some cornfield in Nebraska, I would really, truly, hate it. Then again I don't know if I can wait that long. That's still several days out. Now I understand how Clark Griswald "forgot" that he tied the dog to the bumper. Genius idea! Seriously they are both doing pretty good. They just naturally have plenty of pent up energy when we hit the hotel after being in their crates in the jeep all day. Shelby did puke in her crate twice, but she ate it so there was no mess to clean up. Yes you read that right. And Grizz, oh Grizz, he has peed in the hotel floor more times than I can count already, along with pissing the bed. Sorry hotel staff we had a bed wetter. What can I say he has a very very nervous bladder. So right now I ask that you stop reading this and say a prayer for us all to have patience.

      On our first day we made it to Boise, ID then pushed down to near Salt Lake City today. What a beautiful drive! I know where we are moving to in Chattanooga has been called God's country, but let me just say that God's country is scattered all over this giant globe. He has blessed us with so many breathtaking landscapes with beauty that escapes the imagination. Just outside our window now are jagged mountain peaks that look like their tips have been drizzled in marshmallow and covered in pine sprinkles.

     We spent the majority of our day driving across southern Idaho. Beautiful mountains, rolling hills and rugged canyons. We also saw lots and lots and lots of steak farms. So now I know where they grow steaks. For a while I thought we made a wrong turn and ended up in Montana. We also saw a real, live cattle drive. That is opposed to a fake dead one. There were cowboys on horses and they even had one of them there little cattle dogs.

     I will say that southern Idaho is not wild animal friendly. In fact, If you are a wild animal reading this I would suggest you never go there. Or if you do, stay away from the highway! I have seen enough roadkill today to feed the entire state of Delaware. Or better yet the state of Idaho. They really have no excuse for not feeding the homeless, needy and or school kids.

     So now we just finished feeding our faces some delicious pot roast. Hip Hip Hurray for NO fast food. Now it's time to get these doggies fed and take them out, AGAIN! Tomorrow we are off to Cheyenne Wyoming!

For now the Ormond's are signing out somewhere in Utah!

Dr Seuss moves...

One box

two box

red box

blue box!

Small box

big box

old box

new box.

So many boxes

do I see

one full of foxes

two full of tea.

A box over here

a few over there

boxes I fear

are stacked everywhere.

The boxes are stacked

from ceiling to floor

the house is so packed

I can't find the door.

Two full of dishes

ten filled with toys

I've used all my wishes

and packed all my joy.

The boxes are labeled

the glasses are wrapped

we sold our table

my energy's zapped.

I think it's all packed

my heads in a fog

the house looks ransacked

oh crap where's the dog?

The truck will be filled

in less than six days

then we'll be thrilled

our journey underway.

A child only sees the pot...

     Last night we had the privilege of attending a local benefit concert. It was a spur of the moment decision, but my wife felt "called" to go. She needed her spirit fed, and who was I to deny such an important need? I will admit I did not want to go. I was tired. It had been another long day of packing and every fiber of my being wanted to settle in for the evening in my fat boy clothes. Oh, and did I mention I was tired? Well in case I didn't, I was tired! But trying to be the good husband she deserves, when she asked, I agreed to attend with her. It was actually rather weird. I am the one who normally wants to attend such events, but this time every ounce of my 227 pounds did NOT want to go. The enemy was working on me hard with that little voice in my head shouting every excuse imaginable not to go. Fortunately for me I listened to that one faint whisper that told me I needed to. So we headed out to attend a concert but what we got was so much more...

      It was filled with heart felt testimonies and beautiful worship music. Anyone who was fortunate enough to attend received a blessing. The music was powerful and uplifting. I mean it really touched you down deep in your soul.  Surprisingly it was something much smaller that blessed us. Off to the side of the stage were numerous beautifully crafted clay pots surrounding a potter's wheel. During one of the song's, the potter came out and began to work the clay. The clay was kneaded, and the potter began to slap and pound the clay to the beat of the music. This particularly caught the attention of our always curious 9 year old daughter. In fact we were all mesmerized as the potter moistened the clay, and began working, crafting, shaping the blob on the wheel.

     On the way home the jeep was filled with chatter from us all discussing the concert, and it wasn't long before my daughter mentioned the potter. She went on and on about how cool it was, and that it was neat getting to watch the pot get made, and wondering if they were going to sell the pots, and all the other curiosities of a 9 year old mind. It was then that it hit me! She only saw the pot... The meaning behind it was lost on her innocence. This young child saw no symbolism, she did not understand the meaning behind the potter and the clay. Her young eyes only saw the pot.

     The Bible mentions clay in 32 verses. Think it's important? That's why I immediately seized that teachable moment with my wife and child and began to explain to them the symbolic significance of the potter on stage. What followed was a brilliant conversation that stirred a lot of thought and left us all with something to ponder.

     It was that pondering that led to this blog. How many people in the audience only saw the pot? As Christians we are all on our own path in life, our own walk with Christ and are all at different places along that journey. While many are seasoned veterans who have weathered many a storms with God by their side, there are probably even more beginners, still in their infancy as Christians. I remember as a new believer how intimidating the Bible was. I would read word for word, trying to soak in as much as possible and end up even more confused than when I started.  It was only after much prayer and several mentors that I began to truly see the WORD beyond the words.

     We first see the reference to the clay in the beginning of the Bible. Literally in the beginning, in the book of Genesis where we are told the "Lord God formed man of dust of the ground".  You see back then the words dust and clay were often used interchangeably. Of the 32 times clay is mentioned in the Bible many of them are symbolically or metaphorically used, but none of the versus are more clear than we see in the book of Isaiah 64:8

"Yet you, Lord, are our Father.
    We are the clay, you are the potter;
    we are all the work of your hand."

     It doesn't get any more clear than that. You see for believers and non-believers alike, God is at work in our life. It's up to you whether or not you accept that. We all start out just like that ball of clay, with no particular shape or purpose. It is only through God's vision and His work in our life that we begin to develop, to take shape and realize our purpose. Sometimes the potter uses a delicate touch to define a specific detail, other times he exerts great pressure to completely change the shape or direction of transformation. 

     God is the potter; we are the clay; life is the sculpting phase. Everything in life has a reason, a purpose from God. Sometimes it's as simple as a random act of kindness reminding us how we should love our neighbor. Other times it's much more difficult. It is that difficult pressure that transforms us, where we grow. Sometimes we just get hard headed and God really rattles our cages, other times bad things just happen to good people. Unfortunately for us, we don't always understand it. At least not while we are going through it. Often times it's not until we look back that we can see His purpose as we recognize our own growth.

     To be completely honest this is the part I struggle with most; when bad things happen to good people. In fact at times it has infuriated me to no end when great warriors for Christ have horrible things happen to them, and yet some of the scum of the earth seem to get away with it all.  But the only way I can get through it is by trusting God, trusting His plan, that a greater good will come of this.

     Most of you know that we are under the stress of our upcoming cross country move. What you may not know is that in the midst of this we are dealing with a serious health issue in the family.  It's hard to think about packing up your entire life and moving 2400 miles across the continent when all you want to do is go home and hug your family.

     It's easy to praise God when life is good, but the Bible tells us we are also to praise the Lord in times of trouble. I really try to do this. I seek the positive, however small it may be, in every circumstance and praise Him for it. Instead of focusing on the negative and the "why me" I try to see the good. This time I have not had to look very far. Seeing the spiritual growth of my wife through this has been amazing!

     Instead of turning from God, of blaming God and cursing him, like many of us have, she has done the opposite. She has turned to God. This has brought her closer as she seeks Him, she confides and trusts in Him. Most importantly she just talks to Him. She's not angry. She doesn't ask why. She trusts that he has a plan that is greater than us and that good will come from it. I don't even know if she realizes it already has! 

HE IS THE POTTER; WE ARE THE CLAY!

Stardate 1411.18 Introductory Procedures

I would say I apologize for the blog's pun title, but I don't! This is MY blog and if you don't like it please press the little black arrow at the top left of your screen or the even littler "x" on the right corner of this tab.

If you don't even begin to get what I am talking about with the title, then you either didn't grow up with my generation and/or never watched an episode of Start Trek.  With my new job change and accepting a Captain's position with the Fire Department at the Volkswagen plant in Chattanooga I could not resist the name for the blog.

Due to the tremendous support and many fans I gained writing "Fit Facts" for the Venue Magazine, I decided to find another avenue to express myself through writing.  This blog will more than likely not be a fitness column, but more along the lines of the rantings and ravings of a bald lunatic! However, if along the way you do have questions or issues you want addressed,  leave a comment and I will do my best.

Initially it is my intentions to document the next few weeks as we prepare and head out on our move across country. Before you ask, I have no earthly idea how often this blog will be updated. Probably just a few times up until the move. That is simply because my list of things to do is growing faster than the number of domestic violence cases in the NFL. Once on the road, my intentions are to update nightly. But you know what they say about hell. It is full of people with good intentions!

So now that all that is out of the way, here is where we are today....PACKING! We placed our house on the market last Monday before I got the official offer. It was a step of faith as we were trusting that the Lord was directing us down this path to Tennessee all along. Shortly thereafter I received the offer and began negotiations which lasted a few short days. Prior to this we had begun purging the house and gathering boxes and organizing for the move. Again we were certain God was taking us home.

Since we are finishing out the month at our current jobs, I am at work at the airport today. I have honestly never been happier to be here, just so I could rest! I spent the entire weekend packing the garage and going through crap, and throwing away crap, and organizing crap. I honestly think I could be a professional crap collector. For you guys out there, you know what I mean. All that "stuff" we keep because we may need it one day, forty-two years from now. The one thing I can promise you is that you will never need it until a week after you throw it away. It does not matter if you keep it for a month, a year or a decade. Your need for that very specific and unique piece of crap will  not arise until after you tossed it.

Anyway, back to packing. While I have been working on the garage, the wife has been hard at work inside. Let me just say that we both genuinely hate packing, but are thankful this is the move we have been waiting for. The one that brings us home. Oh yeah, where was I? Packing! See, I even hate writing about it. Hailey's room is proving to be the current biggest challenge. The child has way too many toys, and stuffed animals, and too much crap. Apparently I am not the only crap collector in the house. In an effort to stay married, I will not mention any of my wife's crap. Not that she would even have any.

Hailey however has enough for us all. Not only will you find toys, and other such childlike things in her room, you may also find a variety of other things...many different and odd things. Maybe a rock, or a petrified grasshopper that was starved to death in her homemade shoebox wildlife habitat, or a crumpled note, a drawing of Jesus on the cross at Calvary, or one of many random unidentifiable shiny objects. The problem being that she is not only a crap collector but a hoarder and doesn't wish to get rid of any of it. Thankfully mommy stepped in to make command decisions. I mean really, we could open a dang Toy's B Us that specializes in Crappy Meal Toy's! Right beside that would be our Stuffed animal zoo, with a larger variety of animals than the San Francisco Zoo.

Moving along, the packing & purging continues. I continue to grab boxes (yes sometimes from dumpsters) and we continue to fill them. My to-do list continues to grow exponentially as I mark off one item only to add thirty-three more. As the process continues we are trying only to grow together as a family and not rip anyone's head off in the process. While we are not worried about the move, the stress of the actual move and rapidly approaching "move date" is increasing. Tempers are rising, fuses are shortening, and sleep is diminishing. Mainly we are trying to maintain our sanity while trying to ensure we are thoroughly communicating through the chaos. Ahhh the joys of moving....